a movie screening...

A few days before the movie opened to the public, I went to a screening of "Ride Along" with Ice Cube and Kevin Hart.

To put it simply, the movie was hilarious.  I was sore from laughing by the time I left the theater.  I think the last movie to do that was one of the Hangovers or maybe Bridesmaids.

Definitely a movie I would recommend!!!






Now I go back to reading, because I have to finish this book by Tuesday for my first ever book club meeting...

a lunch with ladies...

In my early, pre-move, job hunting and researching I stumbled across the Downtown Women's Center (DWC).  

DWC is a place that helps women who were homeless or very low income get back on their feet.  It offers everything from: math and computer classes; to sewing and candle making; to warms meals, showers, and clean clothes; and so much more.  The DWC aims to help women both short-term and long-term, offering both supportive housing and day center activities.  

From the very beginning I knew I wanted to be involved in the work of DWC.  This past weekend I had my first opportunity as I joined a group of volunteers who would prepare a gourmet healthy meal for the over 125 women in attendance.

For about an hour and half we diced, stirred, mixed, and otherwise worked towards the preparation of the meal.  As we worked, the women of the center slowly filed into the dining room, often stopping by the kitchen to thank us and cheer us on.  They appreciated what we were doing, they were thankful and they wanted us to know it.

As for me, I watched as more and more of them came in.  I watched as they greeted each other, and  I saw how much they supported one another.  These women who came from so many different backgrounds and cultures had created a family amongst themselves.  Their ties were clearest when they were called upon to welcome a new woman among them.  As the entire room turned to the newcomer, you could feel the love and support they each extended to her.  In that moment, you saw each of them remember what their first day had been like.

Once everyone had been served lunch, a round of seconds, and dessert, we volunteers made ourselves plates from what was left, then went out and sat at various tables among the women.  The women told me their stories.  They told me of their backgrounds, and of their children.  They told me about all they had been able to learn and do since coming to the center.  They insisted on taking my plate to the sink for me.  

They were mothers, daughters, aunts and sisters.  

I feel lucky to have had the opportunity to meet them, and I plan to go back and get to know them more.

a film festival...

Last night I went to a Film Festival by New Filmakers Los Angeles, what I'm sure will be the first of many film festivals for me here in LA.  

One of the things I like about festivals, and screenings, is that you often get to hear from the creators of the piece (another thing is that they often come with open bars and free goodies).  In this case the writers/directors came forward to discuss what sparked their original idea, and how it grew into what we saw.  

With festivals often presenting a variety of genres it's inevitable that there will be some pieces you don't care for.  Hearing the creators explain the background often helps to shed a new light on films you might have disliked otherwise; for me, these included: Abduction,  King Eternal, and  Lialou.

However, rather than discussing ones I didn't care for, here are my favorites.

Here are the films, and filmmakers, you should look out for.

Mediation by Francisco Lorite

Have you ever been through a divorce? Known someone who has? If the answer to either is yes it is easy to see how this whole situation could arise.  Hell, divorce aside, if you have ever lived through the roller coaster of love you want to see this film!  Also, can't wait to see what Francisco Lorite brings forth in the years to come!

Drone Strike by Chris Richmond & Mike Sedgwick

For all of the arguing and politicizing that occurs over the issue of drones, this piece provides a different perspective, the individual that serves as the drone pilot.  The individual who goes to work, forever changes the life of a family on the other side of the world, then returns home to ask his children about their day.  A must see for anyone voicing an opinion on drones.

Present Trauma by Mark Manalo

People go off to war then  come home to their families and life goes on. It's a story almost as old as the world itself; only the return doesn't always go smoothly.  Sometimes the reality is that people go to war and then they never completely return. A piece of them stays lost in the war forever, with memories haunting them for the rest of their lives.  This story will resonate with anyone who has ever known a soldier, but for those who have known a haunted person, the film may  show you your greatest fears. Hopefully, it will also help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Next up on my exploration...volunteering at the Downtown Women's Center...a lunch with ladies...

welcome to LA...

In the near year since my last posting, much has changed.

After a lifetime in NYC I have left it for the sunny, beautiful and exciting Los Angeles.  While I still wouldn't call myself 100% settled, I am finally settled enough to start going out, meeting new people, and trying new things.

So join me here, as I go out exploring and report back.

First up will be...a film festival...now to decide what to wear!

the creeps and crazies...

You would think that online dating allows one to screen out the ‘crazies’ or ‘creeps,’ for surely somewhere in their profile you would get the clear sign that perhaps there is something off about the person, or would you?  The structure of many dating websites allows some of these early warning signs to slide by unnoticed. 

OKCupid (OKC), for example, has a general profile for its users, but they base compatibility ratios on their users’ answers to questions, not their profiles.  OKC does provide each user’s questions, and answers, for a viewer to peruse, but what happens when the prospect has over 500 Q & As? Do you really have the energy, or time, to read through them all, just to decide whether or not you should reply to the person’s message?  The odds are you don’t. You focus your energy on their profile, and maybe read the handful of questions OKC suggests.  You tell yourself the rest are not so important that you shouldn’t hold a conversation, or maybe even go for coffee together.  After all, the profile is where you really get to know the person isn’t it?

No, it’s not, not at all.  Nowadays there are countless how-to articles for profile writing.  There are even sites that will write a person’s profile for them, like lookbetteronline.com and virtualdatingassistants.com.  A person’s profile is likely a carefully constructed presentation that reflects what they have been told people want to read, more than who they actually are.  It is the question section, which may asks the same question multiple ways, that tends to uncover the actual person and their beliefs. At times, these beliefs may directly conflict with claims made in their profile.

The author of the blog niceguysofokc.tumblr.com illustrated this time and time again.* He combed OKC profiles, specifically the ones in which the guys proclaimed they were “nice guys,” and then highlighted some of the more glaring inconsistencies.  Case after case showed a guy claiming to be a “nice guy” in his profile, then later answer questions in such a manner that he would seem like anything but, for example: a guy who claims to be a nice guy posing in pictures with his middle fingers up; another guy, who in his profile makes it a point to say he would never ask a girl to do anything she is uncomfortable with, later answers a question saying that he does believe there are circumstances in which a girl would be obligated to have sex with him.

Perhaps we should structure online dating websites a bit more free form, more like the dating videos of the 80s.  These guys just put everything out there, for better or worse!

 *The blog niceguysofokc.tumblr.com appears to have been taken down sometime since it made headlines in December of 2012.  Luckily, some of its greater postings can still be seen in the new articles that covered it, like this Huffington Post Article.

a story...

I am writing a story.

I started it on a whim, on a morning I woke with too much noise in my head. 

I started writing my story as a journal entry, seeking to figure out what I was thinking; what I was feeling; what I wanted.  But the more I wrote, the more I remembered how much I love writing.

After a bit of being lost in my story I found myself wondering why I never finish a piece through to its ending.  I have more journals, and notebooks, full of beginnings of things than I can count. 

I think my problem lies within my mantra, of sorts, that usually sparks the writing...

"I write to quiet the voices in my head, I speak to makes sense of the written."  

Once the voices are quieted,  I move on. I guess I never really thought about seeing one through to its ending, never felt particularly inclined to revisit what I had written.

This time is different.  This time I am taking my story to its ending; if only I could decide where that ending will be.

in sandy's wake...

My city, more than my city, my corner of the world has been rocked by a lady named Sandy.

A boardwalk I walked along thousands of times is partially collapsed along Atlantic City's shore.

My favorite beach town, Long Beach, is submerged as though its streets never existed.

Over a hundred homes, homes I have always passed on my way to Rockaway beach, have burned to the ground.

A 108 year old subway system, that has withstood many a storm, is underwater.  The tunnels that connect our worlds are flooded.

Blackouts, and fallen trees are among the inconveniences felt by many.

Sandy, Hurricane Sandy, has interrupted our comfort zones, and yet, maybe a silver lining can be found.

Strangers are sharing cabs. Samaritans are taking the initiative to help direct traffic at intersections that have lost their lights.  There is a feeling of social connectedness that I have seen and felt but a rare few times before.

Sandy has humbled all those who heard her roars, and all who saw her destruction.

Frustrated as we may be by our own inconveniences, people are simultaneously grateful that their situation is not worse.

You may have no lights, but at least your home is not flooded.  Your home may be flooded, but at least it was not victim of a fire.  Your home may have burned, but at least your loved ones are safe.

For those who lost loved ones, may time ease the pain of your loss.